The Pool of Pain

by Betty Moore-Hafter
www.creativeeft.com

About two months ago, some imagery came to me during an EFT session of my own. What I find remarkable is how these images have stayed with me, how frequently they come back to me and how helpful they are, almost like an inner vocabulary that continues to show me what I need to see.

This was a fairly brief session that I did with the guidance of my friend and colleague Jade Barbee. Jade and I trade a lot of sessions these days as a part of developing the Inner Theater approach to EFT. We are learning so much about this unique blend of working with visuals and EFT. Anyway, I wanted to do a little tapping because I’d had a slight blow from a friend. Someone I once was close to had been withdrawing more and more, and a recent event had made it painfully clear just how much things had changed.

I started the session by saying that I had “a little pool of pain” inside. That was the best way to describe it. Jade guided me with very gentle acknowledgment:

“Even though I have this pool of pain inside… that’s how I feel… and I can be with these feelings.”

As we tapped, the image changed. I said, “I thought it was a little pool but what I’m realizing is that it is deep. This goes way deep.” So we tapped for that, as much emotion came. The small pool had become a deep well of pain. I realized that there were three important people in my life who had done this — offered close connection and then snatched it away. The pool of pain was about the “snatched away” feeling.

“Even though this pool of pain is a deep well… full of the pain of that snatched-away feeling… I can be with these feelings…..”

It took a lot of tapping, but then the pool began to change. To spread out. It was no longer a deep well… it was a broad, beautiful pond. And I felt that the pond was full of compassion because I was really understanding the woundedness of the people who had withdrawn from our connection. My pain was gone and I just felt love and compassion for them.

As my feelings changed, a delightful image appeared. I saw these three people as turtles out beyond the edges of the pond. Turtles withdrawn into their shells. And my pond sent out three little streams to give them a drink! It was so sweet. I could let the turtles be in their shells but I could send out my tiny little streams, unobtrusive, no pressure… just gently offering them a little drink. We tapped that in:

“Even though they’re in their shells… withdrawn… that’s okay… I can accept them as they are… and my pond can offer them a little drink.”

I am smiling as I write this. All three people are still in my life in various ways. And I have never felt such peace about them. Every time I think of them, I feel warmth… no hurt or rejection… and I literally see them in my mind as the little turtles. I can feel how my continued care for them, accepting them just as they are, is like those little streams giving them a drink. They don’t have to respond in a certain way. They don’t have to respond at all. But I can stay connected, forward an interesting e-mail here and there, share a bit of news… give them a drink!

When we let the deeper mind speak in images and add EFT, this is almost a recipe for powerful and lasting transformation. Instead of trying to figure things out, we may find that resolution just flows from the imagery.

Painting: Dark Pond by Paul Nash